Am I fat?

22/05/2015

Sorry I haven’t posted anything lately. I recently went back to college after my 2 weeks (that I can barely call a vacation) of rest. Nevertheless, I am here and something is bothering my head.

Yesterday began like any other day. I got into my classes, hanged out with my friends, got my train of thought lost in the clouds above me; normal everyday stuff, until… (dramatic music) a friend and classmate of mine approached me. He reminded me about a trip we had taken a year before with other classmates, for school purposes. Then told me he had been looking at pictures of the said trip…

Now, let’s make a pause to evaluate. You (or anyone) might believe human intelligence is evolving through time, right? That men and women have learned of their mistakes, that stories about how to treat each individual have become regular so mistakes won’t repeat themselves. Well, not to sound like a men-hater, but HOW STUPID CAN A GUY BE to tell me I’ve gained weight since that fucking picture was taken. Yes? No? I don’t fucking know? I understand sometimes people tend to tell the truth, and truth (even when it’s uncomfortable) it’s freedom, right? But to tell something (even as a joke) just to tease me a little, regarding my weight, it’s stupid and annoying.

Maybe I’m over reacting. But somehow, in the past couple of weeks, I’ve felt like my self-esteem is slowly exploding in little bubbles of thought around me, saying “you’re not pretty enough” or “you look fat” and “nothing fits you anymore”. And yes, all of this is because of physical appearance; and yes! Maybe I could do more about it. But is it so hard for people to know better than calling others in what they feel insecure about? I guess at the end of it all, it isn’t so much about my weight, but rather my confidence and self-esteem.

To anyone who feels or has felt this way before. You’re beautiful don’t let your mind take that away from you.

Love always, Sam.